Tonight, when my actual going-out-drinking-with-friends plans fell through, I decided to have a go at this whole being-a-wino thing.
Lesson #1: maybe picking bottles because they look pretty isn't the best idea. That stuff tastes like shit, and the only way to make it bearable is to add some strongbow. I knew I could count on strongbow to make things better.
Lesson #2: it's still possible to crochet when you're 7 standard drinks in, but only if you concentrate really, really hard.