So, it's not even 2am. That's very early by my standards. But I'm calling it a night, being responsible and shit. I mean, I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, and I had a 5 hour drive today (not that it wasn't enjoyable or anything, but a 5 hour drive is a 5 hour drive, and a 5 hour drive is tiring) and I'm only little, so the 5 drinks I had in 4 hours, which is 7.5 standard drinks all up, is enough to get little old me kinda drunk. And I feel guilty, since Jeffy put makeup on me and everything, but unlike a regular ball, where I paid my $120 and ought to get my money's worth, I didn't really pay all that much tonight: I bought a round, and then 2 more drinks for me, and then I got KFC, which was next door to the pub, and therefore fantastic. So, if I wanna go to bed (and I do), I can.
But in the meantime, more goodness. Because just because there's alcohol in your life, doesn't mean there isn't goodness too.
I love my sister, and Jeffy, and Jamie too. They're pretty much always there when I'm drinking, and that regularity, and that predictability, is reassuring. The sun will rise tomorrow, and Casey will be there when I'm feeling drunk. Yay for both, except when the sun is shining in my eyes while I'm driving. At those times, only yay for Casey.
I love my friends that aren't here too. I miss them, a lot. Thinking back to the last time when I was at the Woolshed, with all of them, which would have been 8 months ago (cause Meagan didn't know she was pregnant yet) when we were all so close, and since then we've all drifted apart (Anna doing mornings now, Meagan off on maternity leave, Brenton and I being too busy in our own departments to ever really talk) but that doesn't mean I don't miss them, and miss talking to them. I'm still friends with all of them, I don't think any less than I was then, but life has gotten in the way. But I love them all.
I love the fact that our motel is about 20m from the pub that we were at tonight. And the fact that there's a KFC between the two. If there was a fabric shop in there as well, then I would be pretty much set up for life, but oh well, I can do that tomorrow.
I love MmmMmmMmmMmm by the Crash Test Dummies. Because, well, it's so freaking weird, and it makes no sense, in much the same way that life does, but it sounds good in your ears.
I love chewwys. I'm on Wriglys Extra Strong Mint with Cleaning Granules at the moment, and I love them. I didn't think of myself as a mint chewwy person, but since the other week when I had a cold, I can't get enough of them.
I love cider. I don't know why, it's possible that it's just because I also love apple juice, but under no other circumstances would I drink rotten apple juice, so maybe not. I know that spirits are a better idea than drinks with a higher volume to alcohol ratio, which, for someone like me who doesn't consume much in the way of liquids apart from alcohol, is better for the bladder, but I'd rather drink a cider than do a shot of vodka. Maybe because you can hold onto a glass of cider for a while, whereas a shot of vodka is all gone very quickly, and then people expect you to have another drink, and then you get even more drunk.
I love looking around this motel room and seeing how much stuff I've made. That bag, that cushion, that quilt, that bag, that bag, that beanie, that bag, that skirt. Craft is a funny thing, so often you can feel that it's pretty pointless, and just an expensive hobby that leaves you with nothing to show, but when you can have a quick glance around and see 9 things you made, being actually used, well, that's a nice feeling.
I love the dress I'm wearing tonight. I brought with me a couple of options, because I wasn't sure what to go with, and I decided to go with the simpler, more classic green dress, as opposed to the pink mullet-skirted ball gown, so I can save that for an actual ball. Probably a good thing too, because I saw girls tonight wearing mullet skirts in a non-ironic fashion, and I felt bad for them, because they don't realise what I bad idea that mullet skirt is. Also, the green dress makes my boobs look nice.
I love my wireless internet stick. I pay 30c a day, but it's nice to know that when I'm away, it's there, ready to help me blog, and listen to 90s music via youtube.
I love the possibilities that tomorrow holds, and the fact that, even if tomorrow falls short of them, it will still have been a very interesting day, that I'm glad I will haven gotten a chance to experience.
I love that I am the kind of person that finds everything interesting.
The thing, I guess, is that life is really really interesting. Sometimes, we don't care, and sometimes we're too busy to notice, but occasionally, I suppose we have to leave the party early, once we've acknowledged that we've had our fun, and go back to our motel rooms, listen to a bit of Pearl Jam, and concede that, even when life seems like an endless rush, we still need to find the time to think about what's good, and what's missing, and if there's things on both those lists, find a way to take them off the latter, and raise them up on the former.
"... I know I was born and I know that I'll die, the inbetween is mine..." - Pearl Jam (I Am Mine)