Thursday, May 31, 2012

Help?

So I've been thinking lately that I should become a wino. I should get home, break out a comically oversized glass, and get sozzled while talking about "notes" and "body". It's mainly TV's fault - everyone looks to be enjoying themselves while they lounge about drinking wine and having big talks, solving the worlds problems, or organising dastardly schemes. Plus, it sounds better to be having a couple of glasses of wine than pretty much anything else, and certainly the term "cider-o" kinda sucks. And I think it would also help with me being a shitty philosopher - I don't think it would make me better, but it would at least give me an excuse for being a bit shit at it.

And then today GenQ had a link to the manifesto of the Straight Stitch Society. 

  1. Life is hard. Sewing is easy.
  2. When the going gets tough, the tough get sewing.
  3. Sewing is cheaper than therapy and easier on your waistline than chocolate.
  4. Don’t make it if it’s not supercute.
  5. Don’t let anyone talk trash about your sewing skills. Especially your mother.
  6. Sometimes a glass of wine really does improve your sewing. Or at least your attitude. Same difference.
  7. A strategically used curse word can make you feel better when you need to get out the seam ripper. But only the first time. After that you’re a potty mouth.
  8. No matter what happens, remember that it’s only fabric.
  9. If someone asks “Did you make that?” say “Yes” proudly and leave it at that, no matter how much you fudged along the way.
  10. Sewing Straight Stitch Society projects will make you thinner, younger, and richer. You’ll see. 
See! even the quilting world wants me to become a wino!

Problem: I don't like wine. This may take some work.

2 comments:

  1. You could always go "alcho" which pretty much encompasses any type of of booze and still meets all of the criteria for someone who drinks. Just a thought.

    Oh dear according to the information above Im a potty mouth !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love the manifesto, true words to live by.

    Maybe you need to find the right wine. But then again, I never found the right beer, pretty much can't stand any of it.

    ReplyDelete