I have had a plan. I'm not sure how I'm gunna go about putting my plan into fruition in the next 3 days around work and all the other shit that needs getting done, but oh well. Some plans are so magical they come about on their own, like they were destined too, without any help from mere mortals like you or I.
I need a t-shirt, or perhaps just a badge, maybe a card on a lanyard would suffice, that says "official swag tester" then, at the BnS, any cute boys, I will point to my shirt/whip out my badge/hold my little card in their face and tell them I need to test their swag. And I need their assistance to do so.
The best part about this plan is, I can do it in the afternoon, before the ball even begins, and if their swag really isn't up to scratch, I'll hand them a fine for two beers and then go find myself another swag to test. And if it's a lovely swag, and a lovely boy, well, I can't think of a better conversation starter than, "well, since we're both here in this excellent example of swagness, what are you doing for the rest of the evening?*" It's genius.
But you know what's even better? Mum is coming with us. MY MUM! Is going to be dropping us off at a BnS Ball. (insert excited squealing here)
*You is only an acceptable answer if he's really cute.