The rapture didn't happen but the bigpond website is refusing to let me check my usage, and, in some ways I am like a broken record. Once I couldn't check my usage I got stuck, and I couldn't really do anything.
This month it's opposite to how it usually is. With 4 days to go, I was halfway through my usage. But that's okay, since at full speed I can use that 100gig in 2 days. So it's been full downloads ahead today, and even though I'm feeling like I'm doing well, I can't check. And if I can't check I don't know, and if I don't know a simple thing like my internet usage, how am I supposed to fathom the answers to the big questions? Like, what should I work on next?
It was fine when I had my set list of things to finish to get to number 50, but, well, I have finished it. There's still a list, and a big one at that. Five quilts that need backing, for starters. Two that are part done. I did spent 20 minutes sewing some of my neat stack of prettily coloured 10cm squares together, until I came to a green I was no longer sure about. So I stopped. It's yet another quilt for me, so I want to get it right.
If anything, I would say the return of my parents is what has gotten me the most off-kilter. I do love them of course, and my Mum is one of my favourite people in the world, but Dad has had 23 years of practice at irritating me and he's gotten really really good at it. He doesn't like the hours I keep, so instead of making good progress in the middle of the night, I make a point of doing everything in such a way as it looks like I'm packing up. It's difficult, and it makes me edgy. Helen would probably suggest moving out, but I like the fact that 90% of my income is disposable. How am I supposed to maintain a good fabric stash if I have to pay for silly things like rent and heating?
Speaking of fabric stash I have a very strong desire to buy a layer cake. Problem is, I don't like any recent and still reasonably priced ones. I don't even need a full one, so I'm considering one of the Riley Blake or Kaufman alternatives, but they're so much harder to find. Type "10 squares" into ebay, 90% of it's nothing to do with fabric. Makes me kinda cross.
This is probably how the rapture people are gunna feel. Or maybe it's not. #50 was not the end, I knew all along that once I did quilt 50, a whole world of quilting options would open back up. But I don't know which option to take. I had bought the fabrics for a couple more mini zigzag quilts just because I liked the fabrics, but I really don't feel like mindlessly churning something out after spending the last month churning out backs and quilting and binding - I want to do something new and interesting and exciting. My new quilt is in solids, and while I'm totally confident in saying which prints go together, I keep looking at my fabrics and going, that blue there, it's two shades too dark. It'll make the whole thing look like shit and then going fuck it - can't be bothered right now. It's overshot exciting into intimidating.
I'm probably in a rut. I'm stuck between a finish and a BnS ball. This time next week I'll be drunk off my nut trying to find me a cowboy. Or two. That, I'm hoping, will help.
In the meantime, Why has thou forsaken me, Bigpond?