Tonight, I accidentally found my old blog. The first one, not the livejournal one that I can still access pretty easily. The one that was started pre-boyfriend (2005), and ends about 3 months into the relationship, well before I finished school (2006). The one from highschool, when I had lots of different (read: nerd, not bogan) friends, and what feels like much more spare time, but then, when I read it, clearly wasn't any spare time at all. Because I was working just as much and going to school occasionally, and hanging out and being a social teenager.
And asking myself the big questions. This was in the first month of being in the relationship.
"do i change to become something i think they want me to be or do i keep being me because they want me already, and if i change it might cause the loss of what they love about me?"
I obviously wasn't as big on the capital letters 4 years ago. My answer at the time (in the next post) was keep being me, but I did obviously change. It wasn't a change I could notice at the time, and I wonder now if anyone else noticed it, and also if the new girl has undergone the same sort of changes as I did.
I've started on my prep for this weekend, which means no sewing got done today either. Also I worked 9 hours, and that seems like a good reason for not getting stuff done too. I've got a pretty big run ahead of me actually, Harrow this weekend, 23rd birthday the one after and my one year anniversary of joyous singledom after that (There will be a party. Unless I'm working. In which case I will party at work). Casey's 18th will be at some point, and Maddy's 8th, Mum's 49th and I think we're going to the Dartmoor Rodeo if I'm not working.
Seems I still have a social life. Who'd a thunk it?
*I commented on one of the posts to see if I got a message on my current hotmail account, that could help me sign into it. I didn't but I feel better knowing that I've let the me of 5 years ago know that it all gets better. She was a bit emo, see, but she seems quite a bit funnier than I am. She probably plagiarised a fair bit.